Sunday, August 5, 2012
Walk Away.


I don't regret anything I said or anything we did.
The only thing I regretted is crying over you.
You were not worth my tears.



The answer is simple, you never loved her. You were only using her to fill a void in your life. It's okay. You were never a great friend or lover anyway. The disparity between the mental maturity was simply too great. Opinions of what constitutes to a relationship were far too different. 


But hey, maybe I'll never win. Maybe I'm settling.
But I can't let the devil in, because I'm a comic book heroine. 


"I'm here". 
"Okay, I'll come down. Meet where?"
"The same place."
A familiar shadow slowly approached the empty playground. He sat beside her. He lowered his head and looked at the opposite direction. Not a single word was exchanged. 

There was only silence. Cold empty silence. Neither wanted to say what they already knew, the brutal truth. 

Her icy cold fingers clenched onto her upper thighs as her finger nails dug deep into her skin.  She closed her eyes to fight back the brimming tears. She inhaled another breath of poison. '

“When have you started smoking again?”

The silence was finally broken.


“This is the only way I know how to stop myself from crying.” Her voice shivered.

“You are coughing, you shouldn’t be smoking.”

Silence. There was the silence again. 


She took the cigarette out between her trembling lips. She turned to her side and faced him. He was still avoiding her eyes. You could see he was afraid of looking at her. He could not believe that he who once told her he loved her could be able to treat her so coldly. He who was used to playing the victim, could not believe he himself could hurt another person whom he promised never to hurt. He lied. But he could not face up to his own mistakes. He wanted to believe in his integrity and maturity. He wanted to believe that he had always been truthful and honest. He wanted to believe that he truly loved her and will always care for her, even as a friend. 

A clear trickle rinsed down her pale sunken cheek.  


“The entire time we were together, even when you smoked like a bloody chimney, did you ever once see me smoke?”

“No,” he answered. 

She took in another drag and wiped the tears from her eyes.  

“Precisely. I’m not smoking now because I want to. I’m smoking because I need to. You have left me in such a state and this is the only way I know how to deal with it.”


A breath of white smoke dissipated into dark night. 


 Always there every time you needed me; It ain't love, it's just like nicotine.
You're addicted to a feeling that you could only get from me and your cigarettes. 


 






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Skyien
12:39 PM

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